I recently drove past a billboard featuring an over the top photo of a middle aged woman posing provocatively beneath the glow of blazing neon calligraphy.  What immediately struck me was the woman’s face.  She looked familiar, with a sultry gaze that had gotten under my skin at least once before, and a lusty sneer that had been an irritant on several occasions.  I scrutinized the billboard, much to the hazard of my fellow motorists.  Then it hit me:  I was staring at Lindsay Lohan.  Or not Lindsay Lohan exactly, but close thereto, and that was when I took in the title of a new TV show spelled out by the billboard’s gaudy neon writing: “LIVING LOHAN!”

            I wouldn’t say that my brain ceased to function at that moment.  It’s just that it took me a second to process the information.  Was it really the case that society had developed an interest in the failed stage mothers of young celebrity divas?  Initially, I thought no.  This is simply a misguided attempt at publicity on the part of the Mother Lohan (I don’t know her first name and I don’t care to learn it).  But then I thought about the vast amounts of money that go into the production of any television show.  Investors are fronting obnoxious amounts of capital so that this woman can have her own show, and, as a generalization, investments are made for a reason.  That is to say that based upon the viewing habits of modern day Americans a show about Lindsay Lohan’s Mom warrants funding.  Surely this fact says more about the state of our union than any Presidential speech could ever hope to.

            But what’s in it for Lohan’s Mom?  It seems unlikely that anyone is so out to lunch that they don’t realize that starring in a reality show renders them the plankton of the celebrity world.  But I guess for some it doesn’t really matter, the idea of not being in the limelight is just too painful, and if all they can get is a revolting show detailing their own vanity driven shortcomings, well then so be it.  So the larger question then becomes whether or not the show will be a success.

            We’ve had our fair share if celebrity driven reality shows in the past.  In fact, of late it seems that the large majority of cable reality programming revolves around the lives of D-List celebrities.  But until now the content hadn’t been quite so obnoxious (don’t get me wrong, it was extraordinarily obnoxious, but not so obnoxious as to reach the level of obnoxiousness that’s sure to be tapped by “Living Lohan”).  Yes, “The Osbournes” were cooky, but at least Ozzy had a booming career before he became a laughing stock.  Yes, Jessica Simpson looked like a fool on “Newlyweds”, but she’d been selling records for years leading up to it.  Lindsay Lohan’s Mom has done nothing so much as parent a girl whose young adult life is fast becoming a train wreck.  

It’s safe to say that if the American public embraces a show like “Living Lohan” it’s folded its cards in the area of cultural dignity.  We can only hope that the show is a dismal failure.  That it’s pulled from the air following its pilot episode.  Then, God willing, our reality TV industry can return to the dignified programming for which it’s become so well known: Shows that mock the American public via talent competitions.

 

This post is tagged

If you've enjoyed our content, why not subscribe! Click here for regular updates.